I’ve been wallowing in self-pity all these months, just wondering how to get over this and get back to where I was before this depressive episode started. I’ve been thinking of myself as the victim. I’ve come to realize, however, that thinking of yourself as the victim in a situation like this is a toxic mentality.
Yesterday, I went home early. I was having a hard time staying at work because my anxiety was making me feel trapped. I have this problem a lot at work which is why I tend to miss so much. My FMLA accommodation is the only thing that’s saved my job (and my sanity) so far.…… Continue reading I Lost a Battle, But I’m Still Winning the War.
When I first started seeing Dr. H, she suggested that I prepare an emotional toolbox for when times get hard. When I’m in the middle of a panic attack or severe depressive episode, it’s hard to think of things I can do to calm myself down. I kind of just mentally flail around and freak…… Continue reading What’s In My Emotional Toolbox?
There’s this one blogger that I follow, and she is massively successful. I’ve been with her blog from the early days when she made absolutely no money off it, and it’s her full-time job now (along with some other thing she’s built from the blog). I love this blogger, and she writes in a way…… Continue reading BPD Really Sucks.
Yesterday’s post was all about me getting better. I talked about how I was feeling much better, more productive, the whole nine yards. And all of that was true. I really was getting better. But, as I said in this post, recovery is not a linear process. There are a lot of ups and downs…… Continue reading Two Steps Forward, One Step Back.
Two days before my 21st birthday, my depression was at its worst. I was actively suicidal 90% of the time, I was angry at everything, and even the smallest things set me off into a spiral of self-hatred. I knew it was time I did something about it. M had been in the psychiatric hospital several…… Continue reading My (Brief) Experience in the Psychiatric Hospital.
I haven’t had to switch my medications as much as some other people I know, but I have switched enough times to know that it gets frustrating. Throughout my course of treatment, I’ve been on five different medications so far. Today, I thought I would talk about my journey with medications. I started out on…… Continue reading My History of Medications.